The Vaction: Genderbent Skul, Femslash
by NightcatMau
Summary: Title pretty much says it all, doesn't it? But when the dashing and beautiful Skul and Val face near death on a case a vacation follows with unexpected results. Lesbian romance, genderbent Skul. Yes, Skul is a girl. Viva Valduggery! If the idea upsets you
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Erskine, Ghastly, Tanith or Billy-Ray. Val is in her late 20s, her point of view. Mild spoilers if you haven't read the books, some stuff shifted around to suit the plot. And in case you missed the description, yes it is lesbian Valduggery. Skul's a woman, whoo-hoo!

* * *

We'd just wrapped up a case with our usual amount of violence and Skulduggery was beyond pleased with herself, having personally tossed cuffed criminals into the van the Cleavers would escort them to the Sanctuary gaol in. As we drove along a moonlit country road I looked at Skulduggery. Not obviously, of course, but the effect of the moonlight that filtered through the clouds here and there on her skull was hypnotic. She had chosen to wear only her hat, her scarf and sunglasses casually abandoned on the seat beside her, and I chose not to mention it. I also chose not to mention how beautiful she was in moonlight since I didn't think she'd like to hear it.

As I turned my gaze away, she spoke. "Hitting the bad guys is always fun, isn't it?" She asked cheerfully and I nodded, smiling. "I really like hitting bad guys, comes with the job. It's the part where they hit me back I don't like. My skull is sore." I sucked in air and turned my head so I wouldn't laugh. For someone who acted invincible as long as we were fighting, Skulduggery Pleasant always made sure to whine to me about the unfairness of being hit back.

"I know." I managed in sympathy. My own head felt like bongo drums were playing despite the pills the medic had forced on me.

"Are you OK?" Her velvety voice questioned. The question took my by surprise. Usually Skulduggery acted as if her loyal combat accessory couldn't take any damage.

"I'm sore, but Ill live."

"Good." She said cheerfully. "Then I'm taking you out to eat. There's a place I know of a ways from here, a safe haven for mages, you'll love the food, I promise. Why don't you lean back and get some sleep and I'll wake you once we get there?"

"Skulduggery, it's after midnight. And what if you fall into meditation and wreck the Bentley?" I argued sleepily, but complied and soon I was fast asleep. I felt my shoulder being shaken gently and opened my eyes to see a charming stone cottage.

"Wow, I honestly thought these places only existed for tourists." I admitted and she chuckled.

"Nonsense, tourists wouldn't even find this place. Neither would mortals. Out with ye, then." She said good-naturedly and it occurred to me that she was being sweet for once. I wondered where her biting sarcasm had went but decided not to mention it as she got the door for me, then led me inside. Somehow the cottage was much larger inside, big enough to be a full restaurant. It was done more in the style of a pub, but I didn't mind since the heavenly aroma of beef stew filled the air.

Skulduggery picked a table for us, then sighed in satisfaction as we sat down. "Isn't this lovely?" She asked and I nodded. "Lovely" wasn't a word she normally used. I can't repeat the words she normally uses in polite company. "This is exactly the sort of place I loved eating in back when I could." She mused, snagging my menu. "Forget the menu, go for the stew, I know you want it."

She then ordered me coffee and after a moment's decision a piece of blueberry cobbler for dessert. The detective in me knew she was either buttering me up for something or this was part of her old cheerful personality emerging. I couldn't be cruel and ask her if she'd lost her mind. Instead I looked at her. "Thank you, Skulduggery." I said and she waved a gloved hand, chuckling.

"I owe you this, Valkyrie. You've been with me for over a decade now, and how often do we sit down and eat together?" She asked. I ventured a small smile then murmured my thanks as the waiter brought my coffee. Skulduggery watched me drink with a wistful expression and my heart broke for her. I still hadn't figured out how I could see her expressions, but I did.

Her bones didn't move obviously, that would just be silly. And maybe it was a trick of the light or my mind playing tricks on me, but I swore her expression _did_ change. I smiled, remembering all the times she'd glared at me for one reason or another and I'd pretended not to notice. I looked up, meeting what passed for her eyes, not sure how I did that, either.

It wasn't that you could see what was there, but I could meet her gaze nonetheless and now she was looking at me in utter fascination. "How do you do that?" She asked. I shrugged and would have replied, but my hearty stew came. I thanked the waiter then dug in, dipping the homemade bread.

"I wish you could eat with me." I said and she nodded.

"I know, but it's enough to watch you eat. It doesn't creep you out, does it? Having a skeleton staring at you?" She asked, curious as ever.

I smiled and patted her hand. "You're my skeleton, so, no." I said with a grin and she smiled in reply. Skulduggery was charming the whole meal, talking about her past to a degree she never had before. I felt sorry that she'd have to drive back, but she had another surprise for me.

The cottage had a warren of underground guest rooms, and Skulduggery had reserved one for us. It was small, barely big enough for a bed and chair, but it had a small fire going and it was clean and cozy with a private bath. I got Skulduggery settled in her chair, then was going to bed when she shivered slightly. I got the extra blanket from the bed and wrapped it around her. "I'm not cold." She protested, trying feebly to knock the blanket off.

"Skulduggery, you were shivering. I can't have you getting sick. You do feel cold and heat, admit it." I said. She muttered something sleepily, then consented to being bundled up. With her taken care of I crawled into bed and was asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.

* * *

The next morning Skulduggery was up and cheerful as sunlight filtered in the artifical windows. "Morning, Valkyrie!" She chirruped happily. "Why don't you get dressed and I'll take you out to breakfast, OK?" She asked brightly and I nodded. As I showered I wondered if she hadn't at last gone completely insane, but I didn't have the heart to ask.

 _Maybe we've just done one case too many._ I thought.

I came out dressed and looked at her. Somehow her suit was as immaculate as always and her fedora was tilted at a suitably rakish angle. But there were times, like then that it really hit me that she was a skeleton and therefore very vulnerable in a fight. Not that she wasn't the best fighter I knew, but it terrified me to think of the bad guys taking her away from me one day. My thoughts must have shown on my face because she bundled me into her. "I'm stronger than I look, Valkyrie Cain, you know that." She said gently.

I nodded and wrapped my arms around my best friend, snuggling in for a second. We rarely hugged anymore and I had missed how safe she could always make me feel. "That's better." She murmured, stroking my hair. "Well, to breakfast. Then we'll have a lovely drive to Ghastly's office, perhaps stop for lunch along the way." She said and it clicked. She was as relieved as I was to be alive and to have her partner in one piece. The fight with the bad guys had been a near thing and we'd both been sure it was the end.

I gave her a brave smile and nodded. "Sounds good. Fast drive or short drive?" I asked, meaning how angry would Ghastly get if we didn't show up as soon as possible.

"Long drive, I think." She said, understanding my meaning. "Ghastly doesn't even care if we make it in today, but I thought we should." I agreed and pushed the last of my fears away so I could enjoy breakfast with her. Skulduggery was charming at breakfast as well and I felt my heart flutter. She wasn't flirting with me, was she? When she patted my hand playfully I blushed.

Soon we were walking out to the Bentley and Skulduggery was looking at me fondly as we settled in. "Seatbelt. And isn't it a lovely day, Valkyrie?" She asked as she put the Bentley into drive and I nodded. "You can put the radio on if you like." She offered and I did, content with whatever she had it tuned to. "Well, that's a first." She put in mildly, and I grinned at her.

"You rub off on people." I said and she snorted. "You do. I'd rather be here with you than anywhere else." I admitted. _Whoops._ I hadn't meant to say that, to admit how much she meant to me. The last thing in the world I wanted was for Skulduggery to figure out how I felt for her. Luckily, she missed it.

"Well, of course you'd want to be with _me_ , Valkyrie. I'm witty, charming, clever and I always wear perfectly tailored suits." She preened.

"I've always meant to ask you about that." I said and she snorted again.

"I'm a skeleton, Valkyrie. I have to cover up somehow and men's clothing does a better job of it. Have you ever tried to chase anyone in a floor-length dress? It's impossible is what it is. I was wearing men's clothing centuries before other women. And I don't think it detracts a bit from my stunning good looks." She said teasingly, and I could feel her sidelong glance.

"It doesn't, Skulduggery. You're still very pretty." I said, blushing furiously, and she chuckled. Skulduggery liked women to tell her she was beautiful. She tended to hit men who did it. But then she had to be tough to be a detective. That, and she only loved women. It had been a mystery she had to probe when I'd started dating boys, but she'd always been supportive and I loved her for it.

We stopped at a gas station where she immediately got me a large travel mug of coffee, candy bars, Cokes and a few magazines. I wasn't sure where her sudden need to shower me with gifts was coming from, but I loved her for that too. "Thank you, Skulduggery." I said as we got settled.

"Not a problem." She said cheerfully. "Seatbelt. And you can read me some tidbits from the magazines if you like. Oh, and eat in the car if you would. It's unseemly when you hang out of it." I nodded, hiding my smile. She couldn't quite say that she cared, but she was doing the best she knew how. So I read her various articles and she seemed content to hear my voice. That was odd, but then so was her behaviour lately. When I unwrapped a chocolate bar I remembered my dream. I chuckled then caught her questioning glance. "In my dream I was telling you about a dream. You could eat, suddenly. I gave you a little bit of the chocolate bar and you managed it." She looked at me thoughtfully.

"Then let's try, because I had the same dream. To tell you the truth, Valkyrie, the magic they hit us with was like nothing I've encountered before. Maybe it gave me new abilities." She then opened her jaws obligingly and I put in a square of chocolate, expecting it to drop through her jaw. But it didn't. "More, please." She asked, and soon I was feeding her little bits of everything, and she had sips of coffee and the Coke as well.

"Do you think it's permanent?" I asked and she shrugged happily. She was very close to being the cheerful, happy skeleton she'd been when we first met and I wondered just what kind of magic she'd been hit with. Still, she was happy and that was all I really cared about.

When we at last arrived at the Sanctuary Skulduggery was still in good spirits and between all the sugar, caffeine and cheerful music she'd found on the radio I didn't wonder why. I just hoped Ghastly didn't think I'd managed to get her drunk. As soon as we entered his office Ghastly smiled at us. Tanith, freshly returned after her own case looked at me and raised her eyebrows after Skulduggery cheerfully greeted them both.

"Not to be rude, Skul, but are you all right?" Ghastly asked and once she assured him she was he offered me tea.

"For us both, please?" She asked and I hurried to assure Ghastly who looked alarmed at the idea.

"She can eat and drink now. Something about the magic they hit us with, I think." I said and he nodded.

"Well, that's just it, Val. I have no idea what type of magic those men had. No one does. They're here of course, but not talking." He said, putting tea in front of both of us.

"I could make them talk." Skulduggery offered sweetly, but we both saw the rotten expression of her skeletal features. I noted that Ghastly could read her too and stored that bit of info for later.

"I'm sure you could." Ghastly said. "But we'll get them to talk through less violent means. Once you're finished with your tea, Skulduggery, Erskine would like to see you about your next case." He said and she drained her mug. "Alone, Val, sorry." He said and I sat back down with a frown.

As soon as she'd left he turned to me. "Is she all right?" He asked worriedly and I shrugged.

"I think so. Her being giddy right now is my fault. She hasn't eaten for for centuries and I let her have chocolate, coffee and soda. Sorry, Ghastly, I wasn't thinking." I said, expecting a lecture, but he sighed in relief then actually smiled at me.

"Good! I know you're sweet on her, Val, I suspect she knows as well. That could explain it. You're in your late twenties now, so well-" He shrugged.

"So I'm old enough for her to court?" I asked amused and he nodded. Tanith squealed happily over the idea and would have no doubt given me advice, but Skulduggery reappeared, clearly excited.

"We're going on a stakeout in Dublin, Val! You'll love it." She assured me as she doffed her hat to all and sundry, then swept me out of the office and out to the Bentley. "By the way, from what the doctors figure, the eating and drinking is a new and permanent ability. So we'll order room service when we get there." She said cheerfully.

"Room service?" I asked, mystified.

"Yes, the new hotel they installed, we'll be conducting our stakeout from the top floor. And we have carte blanche on expenses, so we'll order something good." She said, nodding decisively. And soon the Bentley was pulling up to the new hotel. It was rumoured to be one of the highest buildings in Dublin, if not the highest. I knew it was with twenty stories. Not tall by most of the world's standards, but tall enough for us.

After we checked in the elevator whisked us up to our suite and we were both in awe of the glamour of the place. Skulduggery, always having bags packed for us in the boot had brought them up and set them on the plushly carpeted floor. "Well, it certainly is opulent, isn't it?" May I make you something, Valkyrie?" We've hours before our nighttime stakeout." She offered.

"Tea would be lovely. But didn't you want to order room service?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Later, perhaps. A very good partner would help me make short work of our gift basket." She said nodding towards it and I agreed. She made the tea from it, and I plated up the shortbread cookies for us, and heated up the scones slightly. We even found whipped cream for them in the fridge and preserves. It was the strangest stakeout we'd ever been on, but I didn't mind.

As we ate Skulduggery was getting to taste everything for the first time, so I was happy to watch her eat, then push over some of my cookies. I understood then why she liked watching me eat. It felt good to see someone I cared about so happy. Skulduggery lounged on the couch with me after we'd finished, one bony arm slung along the back of the sofa.

"What would you like to do?" She asked. "We could watch some TV, or explore some of the other wonders this place has. If I'm not mistaken that is a whirlpool in the corner." I looked at her curiously.

"I don't have suit. And shouldn't we be getting ready for our stakeout? You seemed really excited about it." I said.

"Oh, I am. And it just so happens that I packed you a swimsuit. Some kind of material Ghastly wants you to try out, I think. Go on then, get changed." She said. And I did, wondering when a stakeout had turned into a vacation. The suit was black with a touch of the red Ghastly stubbornly insisted on putting in all my protective clothing.

It also hugged all my curves and although decent I felt exposed. I'd have normally worn less at times, but this was Skulduggery. I shrugged and headed out to the whirlpool. I had to laugh in delight. Skulduggery was already in the warm and bubbly water, soaking in delight. But it was the champagne glasses she'd snagged and filled with Coke that made me smile.

She rose and helped me step in. "You look simply lovely." She said in awe.

"So do you, Skulduggery. I mean it." I said and I swore she blushed. She was wearing an old fashioned hooded swimsuit that covered her entire body except for her feet and hands, and it did make her look charming. It was also a bit loose and had a skirt of sorts. But the blue and white horizontal stripes worked well for her. Matching gloves and blue swim shoes of the same material completed her outfit.

We toasted one another. "To our current case." Skulduggery said and I echoed her. It was sinking in that there might actually not be a case or Skulduggery had decided there was time for romance as well. My heart fluttered at the idea, but I was too shy to ask. She tilted her head and watched me as I sipped my drink. "Penny for your thoughts?" She asked.

I smiled. "I was just thinking that you know how to live, Skulduggery. You're quite the hedonist." I teased and she laughed.

"Aren't I just? A beautiful view, a beautiful girl in a hot tub, and all the bubbly I want." She said, topping off our glasses. She smiled at me coyly, meeting my gaze, hers going soft. I felt myself leaning towards her, I was ready to kiss her, but I chickened out and leaned back. Besides, I knew the rules. Skulduggery would kiss me when she was darn good and ready.

"Sorry." I apologized, then glanced at her. She didn't seem offended. "There isn't any case, is there?" I asked and she shook her head.

"We were exposed to an entirely new kind of magic, Valkyrie. We've been given two weeks paid leave. I wanted to reward you for your bravery, and show you how I feel for you, so a vacation seemed to be in order. But I knew you might misunderstand my intentions, so Erskine happily agreed to give us a 'case'." She paused, fingering the rim of her glass. "You aren't angry with me, are you?"

"Angry? No. I'm touched you thought enough to take me on vacation. And I didn't do anything special." I protested.

"Nonsense, I'd been knocked to the ground, Valkyrie. We both know they would have killed me with the next blast. But you charged in, taking direct hits and took out one of them with your fists, giving me time to get up and hammer the other into submission."

 _Ah, so there's the Skulduggery I know and love._ I thought.

"OK, so I did something." I admitted. "But why would you think I'd misunderstand your intentions?" I asked.

"Because, my most loyal combat accessory, while we were going through with the pretend stakeout I intended to tell you how I feel for you, how I've felt for some time." She set her drink down on the side of the hot tub, then looked at me. "Can you guess how I feel for you, Valkyrie Cain? How many times I've wanted to tell you, but was terrified you'd be repulsed by the idea of kissing a skeleton, even if it is hard to tell I am a woman?" She looked at me sadly. "Somehow this all worked out better in my head. We were on the stakeout and I kissed you in the darkness-" I cut her off with a lingering kiss.

I was hesitant at first, adjusting to her teeth, wanting to be sure it wasn't one of her elaborate jokes she liked to play on me. But I heard her sigh and her arms wrapped around me. We could have stayed like that forever, but I heard a rap on the door. "Room service." A masculine voice called.

I exchanged glances with Skulduggery. "I took the liberty of ordering, still, be careful." She said. I nodded and she helped me out, then we put the hotel's white fluffy robes on over our suits. I walked to the door and looked through the little eyehole. The man was dressed in the uniform of the hotel and had a covered tray on a rolling cart, along with some bottles. I frowned, then opened the door.

I expected the man to rush me or draw a gun, or something else thrilling. But he merely rolled in the cart, pointed out the sparkling juice in the chilled bottles, then took a tip from Skulduggery who had pulled her hood closed and left. I looked at her and she shrugged happily. "Sometimes room service is just room service." She said, smiling. "Why not get changed?" We have two rooms so we can meet back here, yes?" She asked and I agreed, changing into jeans, trainers and a black tee she'd packed for me and wishing I had something more dressy.

But she didn't seem to mind as we sat down to our lunch. "You look lovely, as always." She murmured, coming around to get my seat. "I meant what I said, Val. I am in love with you and I didn't bring you here to seduce you. I want to take things slow." I nodded. We talked as we ate, but I found myself fighting off sleepiness. Strange. Strange too that Skulduggery was blinking what passed for her eyes.

"I think we've been drugged." I managed before the room faded away and blackness consumed me. I awoke, no longer in the room, but tied up in a chair with Skulduggery tied up across from me. We were somewhere cold and damp, and when I saw our captor I groaned.

"Hello, little darlin'." Billy-Ray Sanguine said cheerfully. "Guess what magic trick I learned?" He asked removing his sunglasses. He tapped his collarbones and a new face flowed up to cover his own. The bellhop. I cursed and he grinned. "I even managed to cover up my accent, ain't that somethin'?" He asked.

Skulduggery glared at him. "You touch one hair on her head and I will kill you." She warned. "Where are we, anyhow?" She asked.

He had time enough to say "hotel basement" and Skulduggery snapped off the cuffs binding her magic, the rose, easily breaking the ropes that held her. That was new, and impressively scary. She hit Sanguine hard in the jaw and he went down, then rolled way from her, lashing out with his feet to trip her.

Skulduggery evaded and stomped on his head, and he howled. I struggled against my bonds because I could see her control slipping away. After several savage kicks to the ribs she reached down and collared him, then flung him against the stone wall. He bounced off, bloody and bruised and she caught him one-handed. He fumbled for his razor, but she caught his hand and crushed it. "Why are you here? Talk." She hissed.

"To kidnap y'all. So I could exchange prisoners for Miss Low." He managed.

"She is not a prisoner, and she doesn't like you very much." Skulduggery said, drawing her gun and cocking it. "And neither do I." She said, pressing the barrel underneath his chin. Sanguine's face went wild.

"Skulduggery, that's enough!" I said. " He knows when he's beaten, doesn't he?" I asked, and he frantically nodded.

"I'm beat, I'm beat." He said, blood starting to trickle from his mouth, and I knew he was. Skulduggery looked at him then growled in contempt and dropped him. He didn't move, didn't try to tunnel away, and I wondered how much damage she'd done. I also wondered how he'd got us both down in the basement without anyone noticing. "Service elevator." He groaned as Skulduggery untied me. "Shift change, took my chances."

Skulduggery nodded as if she'd expected as much, and soon enough we were back in our room. Sanguine had been dumped out in an alley behind the hotel and advised to seek medical help. I shivered slightly as I sat on the couch and Skulduggery flicked the fireplace on for me. "I'm sorry you had to see that." She said. "But no one hurts you. Not now, not ever. I'll get our real room service, or at least that exchanged." She said and I nodded.

We should have been sick as dogs from the drugs, but we both ate ravenously on the sofa in front of the TV. Good roast beef sandwiches and more coffee than any two women should drink. Skulduggery grinned at me. "I phoned the Sanctuary. He'll be picked up directly. We have a new cell, just for him, he won't be tunneling out of it anytime soon." She said with a grin. "That and he'll get treatment. I wanted to kill him, you know." She said softly.

"I know, and maybe I was wrong to stop you. He'll just recover and go after Tanith again."

"Oh, I called Ghastly as well as you got washed up for this meal." She grinned hugely. "He's going to have a very intense, and no doubt, rather painful for Billy-Ray, talk with him." She chuckled, again pleased with herself and the world.

And as I cuddled into her I was thankful we'd escaped death again, and wondered what other powers she had gained and if I'd been seeing new ones too.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Ghastly or Erskine.

* * *

Skulduggery was as good as her word, over the next several days we slept in our separate rooms, but spent all day together. After the third day of browsing the Dublin shops we returned with a tiny gold box containing four gourmet chocolates. We'd more or less agreed we'd leave the next day, and not because the room wasn't wonderful. It was, but it wasn't home. So as we settled in after our dinner in our room I was happy to feed her two of the chocolates.

What passed for her eyes closed in bliss and her skeletal features took on a look of rapture. "This is heavenly, Valkyrie." She sighed happily. "But not the chocolate or the room. Being with you is what is making me so happy." She purred and I blushed slightly. "Your turn." She said, in her wonderful, velvety voice, then tenderly fed me the remaining chocolates, and I knew what she was talking about.

It wasn't so much the chocolate, though it was wonderful. It was the fact that it was Skulduggery feeding me, the one person in the world I wanted to be with that made me so happy. I kept my eyes closed even after the second piece was gone and felt her teeth press into my lips and her strong arms wrap around me. I trembled slightly, then eagerly returned her kiss.

I used these times to assure her in my own way that no lips could ever feel as good as her teeth did to me, that no woman, no matter how shapely, could replace the giddy thrill of her ribs brushing into me, or the feel of her arm bones, strong and sure. When we at last parted I stroked her cheekbones softly and she captured my hand, pressing it to her teeth in a kiss. "You honestly don't mind?" She asked.

"No, Skulduggery, I don't. What happened to the arrogant partner who assumed I worshiped her?" I asked and she laughed.

"I meant leaving early tomorrow." She said coyly, and I knew that wasn't what she had meant at all. I shook my head happily and she grinned. "Good. I meant to ask you this tomorrow as I plied you with breakfast, but, will you come home with me?" She asked and I could hear the faint worry in her voice that I wouldn't.

"Yes, Skulduggery, I will." I said gently. We spent much of the evening cuddled on the sofa, the soft light from the fireplace in the room providing enough to share popcorn by. It had been hard to convince Skulduggery not to cook the popcorn right on the fire, but otherwise she behaved, escorting me to my room with a wistful tip of her hat at my door. I gave her a chaste kiss goodnight, then looked at her.

"You could sleep in the chair in my room, you know." I offered.

"I could, but we're taking things slow-" She trailed off uncertainly.

"I trust my partner." I said gently and she happily trailed me in, telling me about how good it was to be near me, mainly because she knew I couldn't go more that a minute without her presence. I smiled fondly and after getting her settled with a blanket I was fast asleep.

Skulduggery woke me early the next morning and after a light breakfast we were on the road. I knew she was eager to get home and I agreed. Though there was a mystery to figure out. "Skulduggery, you took all the little bottles of shampoo and the like, didn't you?" I asked and she nodded.

"Plus a few other things the housekeeping staff said I could have. I hope you like Egyptian cotton towels. And our robes. They'll just mark them down as worn. But then we were staying as newlyweds." She chuckled to herself and I swatted her good naturedly. That explained the gift basket, I guessed, and all the other pampering they'd done for us.

She eyed me as she pulled into a gas station. "Grab your mug we'll get a refill, and you can read to me and feed me again." She said cheerfully, then she grew serious. "I hope you know I intend to marry you, Valkyrie Cain." She said, then winced behind her disguise as I couldn't help my rather girlish squeal of happiness.

"When can we get married?" I asked, glomming on to her and feeling her pleased chuckle vibrate through her ribs.

"As soon as Erskine is done planning our wedding and Ghastly makes us wedding clothes. I'd prefer a tux, I'm not partial to dresses, but he told me we'd take what he made and like it." She said as we got out.

"Sounds like him." I agreed, then gas pumped, we went inside. Skulduggery walked close to me as she had in the city, and looped a protective arm around me if customers came close. I loved that she was so protective and possessive, though I couldn't repress a slight shiver over what she'd done to Sanguine.

Skulduggery noticed and concerned for my welfare, insisted we get something hot to nibble as well. So when on the road we shared hot pretzel bites and she happily listened to any articles I found interesting. We were home by lunchtime, but from our grazing we weren't too hungry. So Skulduggery put our bags in my room, now our room because she trusted herself to keep watch as she called it. "More practical, really." She said. "I'm right there if you're ever in danger." She said, proud of her logic.

I smiled, finding her inability to admit she wanted to be close to me rather endearing. As I lounged on the sofa and Skulduggery in her meditation chair I wondered what our life would be like. Would we still be so much in love without the luxurious hotel room to inspire our romance? Would we be detectives once more after our vacation was over? We'd had two extremely close calls in a row. We both knew that one day one of us wouldn't come home, I was about to say something when Skulduggery's mobile rang.

She answered with a sleepy grunt, listened, then murmured something and rang off. "Who was it?" I asked.

"Mmm, your uncle Gordon. He wanted to see if we were home yet. He assumes we'll be dropping by later for more clothes for you and to raid the kitchen, but for now suggests we get some sleep." I nodded and drifted off.

* * *

We did drop by the mansion when I at last got up, and Uncle Gordon, well Echo Gordon, asked to see Skulduggery in private while I picked out things I'd need. It was when he sent Skulduggery for me several minutes later to speak to me in private that I worried. Skulduggery murmured she's pack some food from the kitchen and closed the door behind her quietly. Uncle Gordon stood with his back to me, looking out of the window. "She loves you, you know. Even if she finds it hard to say to you. Like you, she's never been very good about expressing her emotions. I know it's hard for you to tell her you love her, but she needs to hear it."

"I had no idea." I admitted. "But you're right. I'm afraid if I get too sweet, too loving she won't want me anymore." I said and he turned around to look at me.

"Never. There's something she wants to talk to you about later, and I want you to listen to what she is really saying. Don't assume that your romantic notions of loving her as she is, as wonderful as they are, are all she wants out of life, OK?" He asked and I nodded, blinking back tears because I had a good idea what she wanted. There were operations to give full body facades but they were also highly dangerous and her recovery would be long and hard.

"I just want her to be happy." I assured him. "If that is what she wants for herself, what she truly wants for selfish reasons, then she can have it."

"You mean it?" I started at Skulduggery's voice, then held my arms out to her. I couldn't scold her for sneaking back in, not when she looked so unsure of herself. She came to me, hope starting to grow in her expression.

"Yes, I mean it. You already know I love you as you are now, but if you have some purely selfish reasons then I approve." I said warmly and she laughed.

"You always were a strange girl." She said, pulling back to gaze at me fondly. "But yes. I'd be able to walk in public without a disguise, I'd look like the woman I feel like inside." She paused and looked at Uncle Gordon who obligingly disappeared. "And I'll feel the sensations I felt when I was alive. Please, Valkyrie, let me be the woman I know I can be for you." She entreated.

At my nod she pulled me closer and indulged us both with a long, lingering kiss. And seemingly an instant after we were back in the Bentley, plans radically changed. We'd be headed for Paris, the city of lights so Skulduggery could have the operation. Erskine, indulgent man he was approved, since the long recovery time would give him time to uncover the magic we'd been hit with. I just wondered when, if ever, my own new abilities would appear.

* * *

The procedure would be done in a private facility, very discreet, very Parisian. Everything was elegant, much of it costly, and every possible length had been gone to to make the place seem like an elegant home of a wealthy family and not a hospital. Still, even having viewed the room where the operation would take place, I was terrified. I kept up a brave face for Skulduggery, even as they wheeled her into surgery. "Be brave." She managed.

"You too." I said, back, forcing a smile on my face. She was wheeled in and the curtains to the window of the room were closed. An older doctor stood beside me. "You do not want to see this. I've no idea why they think it is easy to see our beloveds go through surgery. Come, I'm on my break and some coffee and perhaps a sweet or two would do us both good." He said and I smiled at him.

"That sounds lovely, Doctor-" I trailed off questioningly.

"Doctor Louis Pasteur. A Taken Name I assure you. But the man was a genius, was he not?" He asked as he guided me to the chic bistro inside the facility. I took in the false windows which showed some of the most scenic views of Paris, the wire tables and chairs and nodded. "I will take the liberty of ordering, my dear. Your beloved will be fine, I should know." He said, seating me at one of the tables like the gentleman he obviously was.

I wondered what he meant. Were facades that realistic now? He looked like a well-fed doctor, with graying hair and enough plumpness to be attractive. As he returned with a tray laden with steaming coffee and pastries he smiled. "You cannot tell, can you?" He asked and I shook my head. He touched my hand slightly and I was surprised to feel warmth.

"I was in a terrible accident, there was nothing the could do. The fool that did my operation let my poor Jules watch, and he still has nightmares. I wanted to spare you that. Medicine can be cruel to be kind. You know she will have a recovery period?" He asked and I nodded.

"I also know it can be deadly, Dr.-" He cut me off with a wave.

"Louis, please. And yes, it can be, which is why we only take candidates in excellent health here." I nodded sipping my coffee and enjoying the flaky and rather decadent treat we'd split, making a mental note to get more training in before I got as big as a house.

"Louis, she can pick what she looks like then?" He nodded and I continued. "She was evasive about the whole thing and I let her be. I just hope this is entirely selfish on her part. My uncle told me not to let romantic notions make me block her operation."

Louis chuckled. "Your uncle is a wise man, then. Poor Jules tried to block mine, claiming to love me as I am, and he does. But I needed this, to at least look normal again. May I also suggest you let her take the lead on wearing the facade? You see, it isn't physical pain that is so bad, but the emotional pain of adjusting to your new life. In a way many patients feel ashamed they had to be treated to be normal, that what they have is just a sham."

"It isn't." I disagreed. "If it was we might as well close up all the hospitals and let people die in the streets. We all need help from time to time. Your operation and hers were no less necessary for your health and happiness than a heart transplant." I realized I'd gotten angry and blushed slightly, but the doctor was charmed.

We walked back in time to see a groggy Skulduggery being wheeled to her room and the doctor and I parted ways. "Hey, how are you?" I asked as I settled into a chair beside her bed, but she was already fast asleep, or in meditation. She was swathed in bandages and an IV was in what must have been the arm of her new facade. I settled in and fell asleep briefly, then woke up to hear her moving restlessly in the bed.

"Easy, I'm here." I said, not daring to touch her because I was terrified it would hurt, but her hand found mine and grasped it. Compared to the bones I preferred it was strange, but I reminded myself she'd needed this desperately and held on.

* * *

Several days later Louis visited us, looked Skulduggery over, and declared her fit to return to Ireland. "Your pain is gone?" He asked as he started to remove the bandages and she nodded "Good, there will be emotional adjustments. Do not try and hide them or hold them in, depend on your sweetheart and she will take good care of you." He said and Skulduggery smiled at me, her facade even blushing slightly.

She was beyond beautiful. Skulduggery now had dark brown wavy hair that fell to her shoulders and brown eyes that drew me in. She was a handsome woman, in a way that some women can be, and stunningly beautiful as well. My own femme fatale and she knew it. "See anything you like?" She purred and I blushed furiously.

Another doctor joined us, about the same age as Louis. "Ah, Jules you are here just in time to admire your work. This is Jules Verne. Also a Taken Name, and the doctor who preformed your operation Miss Pleasant." Skulduggery seemed smitten with both men, and I excused myself as the continued to unwrap her. I would after all see her on our wedding night and the idea made my heart thud loudly in my chest.

It was going to be different, I knew, Skulduggery now having a womanly form. But I'd always seen and loved the woman in her before, so I resolved to love her now, and I did, even if the facade did change things. Jules came out and smiled at me. "She will be dressed soon and ready to leave. Please, I know you are used to the woman you knew as a skeleton, but she only wants what so many other women have. Give her all the happiness you can." He said, and I nodded my eyes misting up.

When Skulduggery at last emerged I gasped. She wasn't dressed in her usual suit, but one the doctors had bought at her insistence. It was a light brown tweed with a skirt that stopped slightly above the knees, allowing her curvaceous legs now sheathed in silk stockings to show. She had on low heels and enough of her white shirt was open to show just a hint of cleavage. A brown fedora was tilted rakishly over one eye. "Good Lord, you'll stop traffic." I said, and she grinned.

"Oh, I intend to." She purred.

* * *

Home in Ireland Skulduggery seemed to be reveling in her new facade. She put it and the suit that showed off her legs to drive to the Sanctuary, adding just a touch of lipstick and faint perfume. As she drove she looked over at me and winked. "You know, a good partner would touch my leg, just to make sure it feels right." She teased.

I blushed furiously and timidly touched her leg below her skirt, the silkiness of her hose making my senses swim. Skulduggery took a gloved hand off the steering wheel and planting my hand a bit higher with a smirk. "You wouldn't have survived me centuries ago, Valkyrie Cain. You're way too shy and sweet a girl."

"You said we're taking things slow!" I protested.

"Not that slow." She said, amused to no end as I drew my hand back. We pulled into a gas station for coffee then were away, Skulduggery smiling at me. Suddenly she stopped smiling. "It isn't enough, is it? The facade? It doesn't make me a real woman to you, does it?" She asked.

"Skulduggery, you've always been a real woman to me. If I had done what I wanted to when I touched your leg, you'd have wrecked the Bentley." I assured her. She smiled and blinked back tears. "I mean, Skulduggery. If I'm holding back it's because we are taking things slow. But of course, not that slow." I said playfully and rested my hand on her leg. Skulduggery sighed contentedly and drove the rest of the way with a dreamy expression on her face.

* * *

Ghastly waylaid me and Skulduggery continued on to Erskine's office alone. "Forgive me for saying this, but she's become quite the vamp, hasn't she?" He asked. "Tea?" He offered, covering up his question.

I laughed. "It's OK, Ghastly, and yes, she has. It was all she needed to feel confident and well, sexy, I guess." I said, blushing. "I know it is a lot to ask but could you have both a dress and tuxedo waiting for her? I'll pay you, she just keeps changing her mind."

"Already done." He said handing me a steaming mug of tea. "Erskine hasn't told her you're the one who paid for her operation and he never will. I don't understand why you won't tell her yourself."

"She'll know eventually. It's her wedding gift to be honest. I couldn't think of anything she'd want more." I said then jumped as a velvety voice cleared itself behind me.

"I thought the doctors were way too fond of you. They didn't tell me a thing, but you should have, dearheart." Skulduggery said, coming to sit beside me. Erskine drifted in behind her and shut the door.

"I have a case for you two, but we'd like to be sure exactly what upgrades you two got, or if there are any malfunctions in your magic." He said. "So we'd like you to spar against the Cleavers." He said and I nodded. He seemed nervous and it dawned on me why. There was no way Skulduggery could fight hand to hand combat in a skirt.

She just smiled demurely at me, touched one of the buttons on her skirt and the material somehow flowed into a sensible pair of trousers. "Magic." She said with a wink. A touch to her shoes and they were as sturdy as her usual ones.

And if that was surprising, watching her toss four Cleavers around like rag dolls was even more impressive. She'd always been strong, but now she fought like a war goddess. The regrouped and charged from four directions her at once. Skulduggery punched the first one to reach her in the visor, smashing it. "That's not possible." Ghastly breathed, and I nodded and she dropped down and swept his legs from under her attacker then leapt up to stomp hard on his chest.

The Cleaver moaned, rolling back and forth in agony. Two of them reached her at the same time, sickles swinging, and before I could shout a warning she snarled as she turned, dropping into a crouch as their sickles passed over her head. She snapped her palms towards them and they flew backwards into her fourth attacker. The men stumbled and Skulduggery darted forward, sending a dizzying array of kicks and punches into them.

She gestured as the confused attackers stumbled back and a wall of flame went rushing towards them. The flames greedily started to consume their uniforms and it was only she gestured and a wall of water hit it them the men were saved. Medics rushed in, and Skulduggery turned to look at me. Then her expression softened. "I wouldn't have let them burn to death, Valkyrie, you know that. This was just training, after all." She said brightly.

* * *

After Skulduggery's display I had to practice on a training dummy, a bit insulting, but a good idea. My powers had gotten stronger since my Surge a few years back, but now my fire power was more like a flamethrower than a fireball. And at my gesture a wall of water went racing towards the dummy. As I concentrated it turned to ice, then shattered, the icy shards burying themselves deep in the dummy. Ghastly nodded, impressed, and Skulduggery looked proud of me.

As Skulduggery talked with Erskine Ghastly looked at me. "I hope she didn't scare you, Valkyrie. But she's fiercely devoted to you and somehow from what the men told us, that is what is boosting her magic and yours. She'll be a far more aggressive fighter now, but so will you. Provided you can keep in mind that we like to arrest and not kill people I say your both fit for duty." I nodded.

Skulduggery left Erskine's side and came over to me, hugging me tightly. "I was wonderful, wasn't I?" She asked fishing for praise.

"Yes, Skulduggery, very fierce indeed."

"Well, I just told myself I was fighting to protect you." She said happily. The men joined us, inviting us out to dinner and we accepted. And as Erskine and Ghastly got us all settled into a cozy booth a short time later, Erskine told us about our case.

"Our Sanctuary has been in contact with the Irish Sanctuary in an alternate Universe. You'll be going there to help their Skulduggery and Valkyrie on a case as a goodwill gesture from us." We nodded, as magic went this wasn't even all that unusual a case. "But I have to warn you, their Skulduggery is well-" He trailed off and looked at Ghastly helplessly.

Ghastly sighed. "Their Skulduggery Pleasant is a man."

* * *

 **Whoa, wait. An alternate universe where Skulduggery is a male? Will he charm Valkyrie away from our girl? Will our Skulduggery fall for their Valkyrie? Only time will tell. Reviews help greatly, so let me know if you want more.**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Erskine, Ryan. Last chapter alert! Chapter contains spoilers for the books.

* * *

I don't know what any of us expected, but the meeting with our counterparts went amazingly well. Both Skulduggerys were fascinated with one another, and seemed to accept that they were just as wonderful in any universe. My counterpart rolled her eyes as they admired one another and we both giggled. "I'd make an absolutely handsome and stunning man." Skulduggery announced to me proudly.

"Yes, yes you would." I agreed and held out my arms towards her. She came to me happily, accepting a hug as her reward. Then she was off with him again, both clearly talking about us and plotting.

"Subtle, aren't they?" I asked my double and she grinned.

"Yeah, very. I'm Valkyrie, by the way, but I guess you knew that." She said, laughing and holding out her hand and I shook it with a grin. Her Skulduggery came forward and took her off a little ways to consult with her. He glanced at us several times and Skulduggery just shrugged when I looked at her.

"We've decided as we haven't been told of our case per se, we'll take you out to the diner we took Ryan to." Their Skulduggery announced and I nodded. We all went outside their Sanctuary to his Bentley and I was proud beyond words that Skulduggery restrained herself.

"Would you like to drive?" Their Skulduggery offered, but she shook her head.

"Uh, we have dibs on the back seat." My double said, then we got in before they could protest. I smiled at her.

"Forcing them to spend bonding time?" I asked, amused as they both admired the Bentley from the outside.

"That and he's been more paranoid and cranky lately than usual. If I didn't know any better I'd say he's in pain." She said with a sigh. "I was hoping seeing us bond would make him calm down. Isn't she possessive?" She asked.

"Extremely." I agreed as they both got in. The two talked up front, mostly ignoring us, and I was pretty much taken up with how their world matched our own. It was in the same year, even on the same day. Everything seemed the same, but we'd been given precious little information. When we got to the diner we were shooed inside while both Skulduggerys stayed in the Bentley to "discuss things".

"I don't like whatever they are up to." My double said as we entered the diner and snagged a booth.

"Me neither. I hate to ask, but you _are_ Valkyrie, aren't you?" I asked and she smiled.

"Yeah, so you had one too? Creepy, huh?"

"Extremely. But not half as bad as those two plotting against us." I said looking out towards the Bentley. Skulduggery had activated her façade, to the endless fascination of their Skulduggery. At least I'd _hoped_ he was fascinated. His head had snapped back like he'd been slapped when she'd done it then given me an affectionate pat. A waiter brought us menus and we both asked for water until the others joined us.

"That might be all we get if the cheapskate buys." My double muttered. Then she smiled apologetically. "Sorry, he's nice enough, but well, he doesn't act like her."

"Oh, she hasn't always been that sweet. She used to be every bit as sarcastic. She got hit with magic we've never seen before." I admitted. "That and we're in love, obviously." I said and my double murmured that it was sweet, making me blush. "She just got that façade in Paris, so if she seems a bit off, she's still adjusting. The doctors said the emotional upheaval is the worst."

"Strange. He just went to Paris on his own for a few weeks." She said, frowning thoughtfully. "But he wouldn't go alone, would he? Face all that pain alone?"

"Have you told him you love him?" I asked gently, sensing she did love him and wondering if we were there to play matchmaker.

"No. I'm afraid he'll walk away and never come back."

"Then maybe that's why. But if he did go off on his own you can love and support him now, OK?" I asked and she smiled faintly.

Our respective Skulduggerys joined us, Skulduggery sliding in beside me and taking my hand in hers. She squeezed my hand and I squeezed back, reassuring her. Their Skulduggery looked at the menu. "They're running a special on burgers with endless fries and drinks." He said. "Since it is the Sanctuary paying, let's splurge." We put our order in and when our Cokes came he regarded Skulduggery carefully.

"Did it hurt much?" He asked softly and we all knew what he meant.

"Yes, you can't see them, but they had to put sigils all over me. That was extremely painful for the first few days. But Valkyrie being with me helped me get through it. I know her well enough to know it had to repulse her on some level to have a woman take her hand, but she held mine right after surgery and every day after." Tears misted my eyes. She'd never said a word, ever.

"I don't deserve you, do you know that? Have I told you I love you today? Because I do." I said, gently turning her head towards me and kissing her softly. She blushed becomingly, matching her red fedora and dress suit nicely.

"Val." She said, clearly touched, but she needed to hear more.

"She's right." I told our friends after our burgers had come. I looked at the untouched basket before their Skulduggery, but didn't mention it. "I did have trouble adjusting because I wasn't used to this, and no façade, no matter how lovely can replace the woman I fell in love with. You know, I think I was the only one surprised, every one of our friends thought it was a given."

"That's so romantic." My double sighed. "And it's brave of you to admit you had to adjust. If it isn't-" She trailed off.

"I only dated guys." I said to answer her unasked question.

"And vampires." Her Skulduggery murmured.

"We don't talk about vampires!" I and my double snapped.

"So you say. But skeletons you feel free to talk about." He said warmly, then dropped his disguise. "I didn't have the benefit of a battle with the bad guys, but the magic in Paris allows me to eat as well." He shrugged and began eating. He was stunningly handsome, and I think he knew it.

I felt sorry that he'd obviously faced his operation alone, and that they were so in love and too terrified to confess it. "You must love her very deeply, as much as I love my Valkyrie." Skulduggery said gently.

"You do?" My double asked, hopefully and he turned and looked at her.

"Yes, I do. But I didn't think-" She grabbed him in a searing kiss, then released him only to grab him by the tie.

"You belong to me, Mister, and don't you ever forget it." She growled, and he nodded, looking happily dazed.

He straightened up at last, and eyed her carefully. "Somehow this went so much better in my mind. I found a more romantic place than a diner to tell you how I felt for you."

"This diner is very romantic." Skulduggery said. "I liked everything about that case. Except the part where Ryan kissed Valkyrie, that I could have done without." She grumbled and I grinned at her.

The rest of the lunch went happily enough, and we stayed for hours, all of us seeming to know it was our one chance to learn from one another. Because it had dawned on us that there was no case, and our respective Erskines and Ghastlys had wanted to push our relationships along. Skulduggery and I had needed to address that yes, she was a woman, and they had needed to admit how they felt.

"Why don't you come home with us?" Their Skulduggery offered when we'd finished lunch. "We can bond more, and it is the least we can do for you." He said, looping an arm around my double.

"Unless you want time alone. We can stay at the Sanctuary, it's no big deal." I offered but they both wanted us with them. So we were soon in his home, which was exactly like Skulduggery's home.

* * *

Skulduggery was extremely fascinated to see the exact resemblance and the two fell to talking, ordering us girls to sit down while they made us coffee. My double shrugged. "Want to watch some TV?" She offered and I nodded. The same exact channels, ads and programming as home, it was creepy. But everything wasn't quite the same, not if they hadn't got into a battle with their version of our criminals yet. Our respective Skulduggerys brought us all coffee, and I settled down on the sofa with mine while my double took to his meditation chair with hers. Her Skulduggery's mobile rang and he answered with a grunt, shooing her off his lap so he could take it into the other room.

I exchanged worried glances with Skulduggery. We both knew he'd lie like a rug about the call, just like she would if it suited her purposes. But of course, Skulduggery should be able to tell if he was lying. He returned and frowned at us. "I think we've just been given busy work. Supposedly there has been magical activity spotted by mortals in an abandoned castle. Well then, to the car everyone." He finished brightly.

As we piled in, our friends up front and us in the back this time I hoped it was busy work because they would be too distracted by their new relationship to fight well. Skulduggery seemed to sense my unease and patted my hand reassuringly.

The drive was scenic, but long and from what I could tell no different than our world. We reached the castle at night, their Skulduggery having actually stopped for dinner. We were all nervous and had bolted down our food. You'd think we shouldn't have been, but the closer we got to the castle, the more the hair stood up on the back of my neck.

And once it came into view and their Skulduggery cut the engine and coasted to a stop, I knew why. The place looked evil. Not at all like the picturesque ruins tourists loved. but as if the castle had seen a lot of horror and liked it. In the dim moonlight the broken stones and ragged spires looked like the teeth of a savage animal ready to devour us. "You first." I offered generously to Skulduggery, my voice faint.

"By all means, you first." She said. Then we remembered how our magic worked thanks to the battle and nodded at one another.

"If it tries to hurt you, Ill kill it." I growled.

"Not if I kill it first." She promised. Our counterparts looked startled, but led the way. The ground was rocky and hard, yet when we reached the castle itself the stones we walked on managed to be slimy in patches, and that was just outside. My double and I did our best not to fall as our Skulduggerys took the lead by silent agreement.

Both summoned fire and led the way in. And inside it was ten times worse. Scenes of human suffering had been carved into the stones. "Religious order?" My double asked.

"That or Faceless Ones temple." I murmured back and we both shivered. We all had a distinct feeling of being watched, and I tried to pass it off as something science could no doubt explain, but as we moved deeper into the castle and found nothing we had a choice to make. "Up to sweep the castle from the top down, or down to the dungeons?" Their Skulduggery asked.

"Up, and we don't split up." I said and both Skulduggerys stared at me.

"You've got to be kidding me." I and my double said at the same time. "Splitting up is only something stupid people do in horror movies." She added and I nodded.

But split up we did, I and my double being sent down into the dark, dank and ugly dungeon. "Why do they always do something this stupid?" I grumbled. "It's like they want us to die." I continued.

"I know, right? He's always palming me off on other people." She grumbled as we descended the slick stone stairs, trying very hard not to fall. I spotted ragged torches in sconces, and snagged us two. Amazingly they worked. We reached the dungeon and stood still.

We could hear water dripping in the darkness beyond, and the place smelled foul, but it was clear that there had been no one there for a very long time. We explored dutifully, then were turning back to the stairs when the screaming started. We raced up the stairs, trying not to knock one another back down and reached the main floor. The screams sounded again, high above us and we were going to race up the stairs into the higher parts of the castle when my double looked at me. "Trap?" She asked, even as we ran up, torches still in hand.

"More than likely." I agreed. We reached a hallway and stopped. The torches made us an easy target to whatever was lurking in the darkness, but we'd recognized those screams. They came again and we charged ahead, no plan in mind and hit the heavy oaken door that stood between us and our partners with all our body weight.

It flew open and we tumbled into a brightly lit room, only barely managing to roll up into fighting positions, our torches brandished like war clubs. "Oh, hello, you must be my new guests." A skeleton in a tattered tan fedora and trenchcoat said. The screams came again and I realized our Skulduggerys were playing with the castle's winch system. A winch system. We'd made utter fools of ourselves and almost broken our necks over a winch system. They looked innocently at us, seemingly unaware they'd caused so much drama.

Our host turned out to be the Skulduggery Pleasant from his own world who'd somehow wandered into theirs and never found his way back. I felt pity for him because he missed his own Valkyrie terribly. He agreed to return with us and apologized for potentially exposing magic. "It was my best plan." He said, shrugging. "To raise a ruckus and be rescued. Only she didn't rescue me." He sniffed.

We felt sorry for him, but pointed out she was most likely looking for him and perhaps just looking in the wrong worlds. That cheered him up, and once we'd turned him over to the Sanctuary their Erskine promised he'd help him find his way home.

* * *

We spent the evening with our hosts, and as we were leaving for our world in the morning their Skulduggery hugged me tightly. "Make love to her before the wedding with her façade on." He whispered through closed teeth. "There's more important things than being a virgin on your wedding night. She has to know she's wanted, that she doesn't repulse you." He said and I tightened my hug.

"Tell her you love her every day, she needs to hear it." I whispered back. He cared about me, just like my Skulduggery did and we were sorry to leave our new friends. After a quick debriefing in our world, Skulduggery started us out for home.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She asked.

I looked at her. "I was thinking how amazingly beautiful you are. How easy it's always been to be with you because your my best friend." I said and she smiled.

"He told you what I said, didn't he?" She asked with a sigh.

"He did."

"And what did you think of it?" She asked. "If the wedding is a mistake, if I repulse you-"

"I think we're sleeping in the same bed tonight." I said, putting my hand on her leg. "Because we both deserve to show one another how very much we feel for each other." I let my hand drift up slightly further and she cursed as the Bentley veered slightly. But that night she was happy to come to bed with me.

* * *

Skulduggery was wearing her façade and a white nightgown that sparkled with small jewels and was decorated with lace. She looked nervous as she came toward the bed, then looked at me helplessly. I patted it and she got in. "Valkyrie, maybe this is a bad idea-" She started, but I captured her lips with mine. We spent a glorious night together and in the morning I was rewarded with the sight of her angelic expression as she still slept beside me.

We'd showed one another that what we had was real. And I knew now as I never knew before that she was the woman I wanted to spend eternity with. There had been something pure about us being together, something holy and as she sleepily opened her eyes I knew she'd felt it too. "Morning, beautiful." I said, kissing her tenderly. "Why don't you stay here and I'll get us breakfast?" I offered.

She smiled sleepily. "Sounds wonderful. Speaking of wonderful, last night was amazing, and, yes, I needed to know. We both did. Thought Ghastly will no doubt tinge your white gown with something if he ever finds out."

"I'm not telling if you don't." I said happily, getting out and grabbing my robe. "And thank you as well, Skulduggery. But if what happened last night was good, just wait until I get a hold of the skeleton I fell in love with." I said with a wink.

She gasped in delight and I left to make us a simple breakfast of strawberries and cream with a carafe of black coffee then toted it back upstairs. Skulduggery fed me, and I her and we spent most of the day in bed, just content to be together. My mobile rang in the afternoon and we were summoned back to the Sanctuary.

* * *

Once in Ghastly's office we accepted his offer of tea. "I ought to dye your dress pink." He muttered handing me my tea. He held up a hand before we could protest. "I think you two did the right thing. It would have been cruel for you to marry and find out you couldn't be lovers as well. We more or less knew since their Skulduggery wanted to help out in the worst way. Oh, Erskine and I have a favour to ask of you two."

We nodded, so long as a lecture wasn't coming, we'd do just about anything. "There are alternate universes out there that are so different from ours that anything that could be possible with magic has happened there. And well, circumstances being what they are, we'd like you two to host one of the Skulduggerys we found. Keeping in mind he has nowhere else to go."

"Of course." We both said at once. The truth as the detectives in us wanted to know how he had no Valkyrie or Ghastly or anyone else to look after him, but we would for as long as he needed.

"Erskine's bringing him in now. He was found by the Erskine of his world after his house had been attacked. His family didn't make it." We didn't have time to think about that. The door opened and Erskine walked in accompanied by his double from their world. The double held a tiny blue bundle.

We rose as one and went to him. I pulled the blanket back and the sweetest baby I'd ever seen blinked what passed for his eyes. The tiny skeleton squirmed and held his arms out to me. "A baby Skulduggery." I cooed, taking him into my arms. He giggled, and fussed happily. "Oh isn't he an angel, Skulduggery?" I asked, handing him off to her.

She nodded, smiling. "Of course, he'll be a handful when he grows up." I said and she nodded. "Most likely a dashing, handsome and rather sarcastic skeleton detective." I added, not able to keep the teasing note out of my voice.

I turned to their Erskine. "How long could we keep him?"

"Forever. Things aren't good in our world at all. We're breaking all sorts of rules by making contact, but Grand Mages tend not to listen. It must have been interesting having her be the same age and getting to fight by her side." He said, turning to Erskine.

Erskine nodded and the men looked at us. "He's staying." Skulduggery said firmly, and that was that. Weeks later the baby would be at our impromptu wedding, where we both wore dresses, and Skulduggery wore her façade, little Skulduggery nestled tight in her arms as we exchanged vows.

He of course got more attention that we did, and we didn't mind. But we both wondered if our son would one day want to return to his world and right the wrongs there. Or, was it our responsibility as his parents to go right them ourselves while there was still a fleeting chance he'd have a world to return to?

The Dead Men were our brothers and so close to us that they knew the answer. Yes, we'd be forever changing another world. Yes, we had no right to do that. But we had already done it by taking our little one in and so had their Erskine by not leaving a helpless baby in smouldering ruins. So a plan was set to recruit our doubles from the world we'd visited and along with the Dead Men see if we'd have a chance to save his world, even if it meant one day we'd loose our son.

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 **And that is all she wrote, hope you liked it. I know the end is a tad rushed, but when a story doesn't do very well I like to try and wrap it up quickly. Thanks to those who read this far.**


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